Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
