I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
