Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
