Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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