is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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