I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm passing your future prison.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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