You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You're my little dorito
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
