Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
