Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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