i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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