My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
