Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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