Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
