What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
