You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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