How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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