I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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