no, he came in my armpit
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
