so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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