I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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