Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
