I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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