He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
