mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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