Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
