just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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