I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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