I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
