My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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