I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
