Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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