i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
