I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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