; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
