Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
