and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
