He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How does it feel to date your dad?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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