So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
