It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
