she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
