We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
