Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
