We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
