So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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