Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
