MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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