he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have tasted many bathrooms
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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