He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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