dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
