Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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