There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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